


Detention

by kagedyams



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Birthday Smut, Grinding, Lapdance, M/M, Teacher Kink, shimada for best wingman 2k16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6473644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagedyams/pseuds/kagedyams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well with your parents bugging you to get married, we figured this might be your last birthday as a single man. We wanted to go all out for our lonely, sexually frustrated best friend,” Shimada said, clicking his tongue at his last words in faux pity, slinging his arm around Ukai’s shoulder. The aforementioned limb was promptly shoved off. “Besides, we haven’t even given you your present yet,” Shimada purred, a preemptive grin alighting his features. Ukai had a bad feeling.<br/>There was a knock at the door. Ukai had a revelation.</p>
<p>OR: Shimada has a brilliant birthday idea which may or may not involve Takeda giving a lapdance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detention

Ukai wanted a quiet birthday.

Instead, Ukai’s birthday was filled with 27 condoms, a stripper, and a barrage of gay thoughts.

It all began the morning Ukai opened up shop at the family-run convenience store. He was turning 27, nothing momentous to be celebrated. Due to this, Ukai expected a relaxed and normal day as he settled in the stool behind the register and flipped at an old magazine.

Manning the register went smoothly in the morning, a steady trickle of high schoolers passed by on the way to school to pick up a bento or tea. Trapped in the empty convenience store from when school and work started to when lunch began, Ukai found himself with a cigarette between his lips, the end burning angry reds and oranges. He flicked the ashes into the circular dish atop the counter, heaving a sigh as he waited for the inevitable crowds of people looking for a quick lunch.

They came, and Ukai found himself temporarily occupied, enough to take his mind off the boredom that settled in sometime during the day. That same boredom found Ukai again by the time the early afternoon rolled around and the crowds thinned. Another cigarette was lighted, and Ukai kicked his feet onto the counter as he waited for the school day to end, when another crowd would come in.

He was never able to greet that crowd, because as soon as the clock chimed 2 PM his phone buzzed. Closing the magazine he wasn’t paying much attention to, he flipped open his phone to find one new text from Shimada.

_Shimada: Come outside_

Ukai frowned, cigarette drooping in his mouth from the expression. Shimada was supposed to be manning his own place, why would he want Ukai outside? With an exasperated groan, he stood up, pocketing his phone as he moved towards the door. He inhaled the cigarette fumes one final time before pushing open the door, taking a step outside to survey the area. Shimada was nowhere in sight.

“Quick Takinoue!” A voice called. Ukai was about to turn around to face the interloper when his vision was cut off. A bag was placed around his head, and his cigarette dropped from his lips due to the surprise, still alight as it landed in the pavement. He was too shocked to fight back, limbs locked even as he felt his feet leave the group as strong arms wrapped around his waist, hoisting him up and over someone’s shoulder.

It was only after he felt the person carry him beginning to move that the adrenaline kicked in, spurring him as he thrashed against the man. He heard someone curse followed by a, “Cut it out, Keishin! You’re gonna break my rib or something.” Ukai stilled, immediately recognizing the voice as his friend in the Neighborhood Association, Takinoue. He allowed himself to be carried off to whatever doom they had planned for him.

He heard a car door open, and he was unceremoniously hefted onto a leather seat. The bag was removed from over his head, and Shimada facing him, elbows propped on his knees and his head rested on his clasped hands, greeted him. Ukai realized they were in a limo as Takinoue slotted himself beside Ukai, knocking the tinted glass partition in a silent order to move. “I bet you’re wondering why I called you here today,” Shimada started, smirk settling on his face and sounding way too pleased for his own good.

“What the hell are you doing, Shimada,” Ukai snapped, eyes narrowing as he reached into his pocket for another cigarette. He desperately needed one now.

It was with great sorrow that Ukai realized he had left the pack resting next to the register, along with his lighter. Heaving a sigh, he leaned back into the plush leather and closed his eyes, attempting to ameliorate the headache which was slowly forming. With Shimada and his smug grin and Takinoue with his watchful eye, he knew escape was impossible. All Ukai could do was sit helplessly in the alarmingly comfortable limo seats and accept his fate. 

After ten minutes of listening to the low hum of the engine and Shimada trying to coax Takinoue into a game of patty-cake, they arrived. Shimada hopped up excitedly, grabbing Ukai by the wrist and hoisting him out of the limo. Before he could even step out, Takinoue was beside him, the burlap sack back in his hands as he held it outstretched towards Ukai.

“Sorry Keishin, this is a super secret operation and the bag is absolutely mandatory. Secret agent policy,” Shimada explained, looking the least bit sorry. He tried to look cool and authoritative, but at Takinoue’s silent eyebrow wiggle he began to chuckle. In his attempt to muffle his own laughter, he began to choke haughtily, causing Takinoue to furiously beat his back.

Ukai wondered what he ever did to deserve friends like these.

Takinoue slipped the bag back on his head, adjusting it accordingly so that Ukai could breath. With a hand rested on his back, he was slowly led out of the limo and down some ways. They stopped, and after a familiar _ding_ Ukai realized they were entering an elevator. 

The silence was relative, but the anticipation was heavy in the air. All Ukai could hear were the uncontained snickers of Shimada at his side, followed by a light smack which sounded suspiciously like Takinoue slapping the former volleyball player. When the elevator doors slip open again, Takinoue began his helpful guidance down the hall, leading him a few paces down before they stopped again. “Shimada, the door,” Takinoue said, hand never leaving Ukai’s back.

_Finally,_ Ukai thought as he heard the key jingle in the lock, followed by the creaky protestation of hinges. Whatever insane scheme his friends had cooked up he wanted to be over and done with, already missing the cozy accommodations of his store.

“Okay, you can take the bag off now,” Shimada almost sang, his force sounding somewhat distant. Ukai, relieved, grappled with the burlap, gripping the edges and pulling it over his head. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the light, he scowled. 

“What the fuck,” Ukai growled, an incredulous look overtaking his features as he took in the room. A large poster reading “Happy Birthday, Keishin” was hung from the ceiling, accompanied by large and clear cylindrical balloons. Ukai noticed the pointed tip to these balloons, and realized they were actually just condoms filled with air.

“We wanted to hang up more condoms but they’re so expensive so we only blew up 27 of them, since you’re turning 27. Don’t worry, Takinoue wasn’t going to use them anytime soon anyways!” Shimada beamed, yelping when he was smacked upside the head by his companion. Ukai couldn’t help but smirk at the diss.

“Okay but, why? 27 ain’t a big deal or anything, there’s no reason to celebrate so much,” Ukai said, brow furrowing as he took in both of his friend’s smiling faces. This night did not bode well for him.

“Well with your parents bugging you to get married, we figured this might be your last birthday as a single man. We wanted to go all out for our lonely, sexually frustrated best friend,” Shimada said, clicking his tongue at his last words in faux pity, slinging his arm around Ukai’s shoulder. The aforementioned limb was promptly shoved off. “Besides, we haven’t even given you your present yet,” Shimada purred, a preemptive grin alighting his features. Ukai had a bad feeling.

There was a knock at the door. Ukai had a revelation.

“You didn’t,” he deadpanned, eyes wide as he turned to the door. Takinoue laughed, slapping Ukai’s back none-too-gently as he moved to the door, unlocking it to reveal a gorgeous pair of legs clad in fishnet stockings. 

“Did somebody need a private tutor?” A suave voice called from the door. Takinoue stepped slightly to the side, allowing Ukai to see that the fishnets lead into a trench coat. This reeked of low-budget porn.

The man walked into the room, flashing his legs through the front slit of the trench coat. Sleek black stilettos were attached to his feet, sharp heels digging into the carpet as he stepped further into the room. Ukai was having flashbacks to his 18th birthday.

The man strut to the middle of the room before pausing in front of Ukai. With practiced fluency, he rid himself of the trench coat, allowing the heavy material to pool around his feet. Ukai followed it, gulping slightly as his outfit was bared to him. The fishnet stockings cut off mid-thigh, attaching to a garter belt that led up under a tight black pencil skirt. The skirt did little to hide the thin angularity of his hips, curving over his slim figure up until it cinched around his midriff. Tucked in neatly was a white blouse, the flimsy fabric doing a terrible job at hiding the sharp contours of his chest and the darkened nubs of his nipples. Around the collar was a neatly-done tie, thin and solid black. Brown doe-eyes peaked up at him through black-rimmed glasses, eyelashes fluttering slightly as a pinkish tinge overtook his face.

Shimada moved up from behind the newcomer, that same grin set on his face. Ukai was stuck between smacking him or pushing him out of the room to allow alone time with the rather attractive stripper in front of him. “This is Sensei, he’ll be teaching you some things tonight,” Shimada explained. This caused Sensei’s lips to tweak upward, showcasing perfectly white teeth framed by plump pink lips. Ukai was almost embarrassed by how aroused he was.

Sensei took a step forward, prompting Ukai to step back, intimidated. They continued their small game of chase until Ukai’s knees connected with a chair, buckling under him and sending him backwards onto the seat, knees spread wide and his body rigid. Sensei used this to his advantage, immediately straddling Ukai, skirt stretching out and riding up his thighs, exposing the thin line of the garter as it ran up his pale thigh. Ukai’s pupils had blown up, concentrated on the newly exposed skin, his brain rapidly losing any of the blood that would help him think. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Shimada and Takinoue exchange glances before they made themselves scarce, sending one last teasing look to Ukai before leaving the room. Ukai was about to call out to them to get him out of this mess, but Sensei had other plans, rocking his hips against Ukai’s. He could feel the friction from the subtle grind on his hardening cock, groaning through clenched teeth.

“It’s hard to learn in big groups, one-on-one is always the best,” Sensei purred, arching his back as he leaned in, pushing their chests together as he whispered in Ukai’s ear. He blew gently at the lobe, sending shivers down Ukai’s spine before he attached his lips to the hanging cartilage, biting softly at the flimsy skin. Ukai breathed in harshly through his nose, tilting his head back slightly as Takeda flicked his tongue along the ridge. Ukai cussed under his breath as Sensei continued to grind against him, skirt riding up past his hips and exposing sheer black panties. When Sensei heard the whispered cuss, he pulled back, detaching their chests to look into Ukai’s eyes.

“Bad words aren’t allowed, Ukai-kun. I think a punishment is in order,” Sensei’s hand pulled at the knot on his tie, slowly loosening it and pulling it down. Ukai’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Sensei rocked his hips, feeling around Ukai’s half-hard cock, which was already straining against the coarse material of his jeans. Jesus, why did Ukai wear jeans today?He felt like he was being choked, trapped in a tight space he couldn’t get out of. Sensing his discomfort, Sensei smile softly, looking down at the area between his own thighs, where a very obvious bulge was making an appearance.

“I don’t like distractions during my teachings, and that is _very_ distracting. I hope you don’t mind if I remove it?” Sensei slid a pink tongue between his lips, and Ukai felt his mouth go dry before he found himself nodding.

Chuckling slightly, Sensei scooted back so that he could flick the button of his jeans, pushing it out of the whole and tugging the zipper with adept fingers. Ukai found himself admiring them: slender, long, and immaculately clean. His cuticles were neat and the tips were rounded off and cleaned. Ukai wondered how someone could have such nice hands.

_Shit, did I just get a hand fetish?_ Ukai cursed himself internally for his weak heart privy to the whims of the slender man who was currently easing Ukai’s jeans off his hips. He really hadn’t gotten action in a while, and it was taking its toll.

Sensei raised himself up just enough to slide Ukai’s jeans past him and push them down to his ankles. The tent he was pitching was blaringly obvious against his boxers, and Ukai felt his face flush.

“I-- uh-- thought strippers made you keep your pants on?” Ukai phrased it more as a question than a statement. It wasn’t to say he had much experience in the way of strip clubs and whatnot, but he had enough knowledge as any adult man to know how these things worked.

Sensei pressed a slim finger against Ukai’s lips, smiling as he watched him go cross-eyed to trace it. “I’m making an exception for my favorite student,” Sensei tittered, his voice airy as he repositioned himself on Ukai’s laps. He rocked his hips again, setting a rhythm as he rolled his hips, feeling along the outline of Ukai’s dick. He braced his hands on Ukai’s chest, moaning at the friction of the lace undergarments sliding against Ukai’s boxers. He edged his fingers apart, nails digging past the fabric of Ukai’s tee and pressing gently into the skin of his chest, keeping leverage as he ground fiercely against Ukai’s straining cockhead.

“Oh, Sensei,” Ukai growled, throwing his head back as he felt precum dribble down his fully erected cock. Ukai felt a warm sensation on his chest, and he looked down, without moving his head, to see that Sensei’s lips were nibbling at his chin, tongue darting out between parted lips to run against the defined structure. Dark curls tickled Ukai’s cheeks, the sensation overly sweet compared to the rough humping going on just a bit lower.

Sensing his gaze, Sensei pulled away, gazing into Ukai’s eyes with a weird hybrid of lust and sincerity. Without hesitation, Sensei leaned forward, tilting his head to the side as his lips met with Ukai’s.

_This… is not what strippers do,_ was a thought that vaguely pervaded Ukai’s mind, but he pushed it away in favor of swiping his tongue along the crevasse of Sensei’s sealed lips, biting gently at his lower lip as if pleading for entry. It was generously granted, and Ukai’s hands found themselves digging into Takeda’s grinding hips as he pulled him closer, licking into Sensei’s mouth and allowing their tongues to slide against each other. Without even being directly touched once, Ukai felt he could cum.

And he did.

Pulling away, he buried his head in the nook of Sensei’s shoulder, groaning harshly into the soft skin as his stomach uncoiled, allowing a brilliant release of heat that caused sparks to dance behind his eyes. Sensei rode him through it, dragging his hands along Ukai’s chest and pushing his clothed dick against Ukai’s as his boxers were thoroughly soiled. 

When the last beads of cum had escaped, Ukai felt his body go limp. Sensei stopped in his harsh grinding, opting instead to idly straddle the jaded man. Ukai looked up at Sensei, and was greeted by a warm smile that set Ukai’s heart beating in a completely non-sex related way.

“Uh, how much do I owe you?” He asked, although he had an inkling that Shimada and Takinoue covered the expense.

“Just your phone number,” Sensei said smoothly, and Ukai’s gaze snapped up to meet Sensei’s, whose cheeks were puffed out as he stared at Ukai boldly.

“Is this another benefit of being a teacher’s pet, Sensei?” Ukai drawled, watching as Sensei’s face flushed.

“I think it’s more of an ‘I think you’re cute and I’d like to do this again minus the clothes’ benefit. And my name’s Takeda.” Sensei-- no, Takeda-- beamed down at him, dimples forming in the corners of his mouth. Ukai couldn’t help but find it adorable.

The two composed themselves, Ukai slipping back on his jeans and squishing his nose in disgust at his soggy undergarments. Takeda laughed, but his face quickly turned into one of similar horror as he realized his lacy black panties were soiled by his own seed. Ukai found the complimentary notepad on the hotel desk and scribbled out his cell number, handing it to Takeda without making eye contact.

“See you around, birthday boy,” Takeda said as he adjusted his trench coat. He leaned up, pressing his lips against the corner of Ukai’s lips before he was out the door.

Ukai figured it was the best birthday so far.

**Author's Note:**

> well theres still 45 minutes until April 5 is officially over so this counts as a Birthday Fic.
> 
> I remembered it was Ukai's birthday like during the last period at school and I've been writing this for 4 hours straight so please kill me.
> 
> Disclaimer: I have never had a lapdance/stripper before so I have no clue what I'm writing. I'm a smol, pls dont kinkshame.
> 
> I did not proofread so yikes.
> 
> Do I win the award for "Best Mischaracterization Ever?"


End file.
